10 Absolute Dumbest Ways To Die

5. Keeping A Big Cat As A Pet

By big cat, I don't mean a tabby that you've been overfeeding for years. I mean like Lions, Tigers, Jaguars - one of those big cats that, if it wanted to and had the access, could shred you like an incriminating document before you even registered the thought "oh s**t". What I don't understand is why certain people choose to willingly give a Lion the murderous access it needs by buying one as a household pet based only on some sort of unshakeable bravado, a big cat fascination and a wing and a f**ing prayer. It's a recipe for cat-tastrophe (I apologise for that pun, I really do, but it was irresistible). Keeping a big cat as a pet is like playing Russian Roulette every morning before breakfast - it's literally only a matter of time before someone is sweeping chunks of you up off the floor.
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Stuart believes that the pen is mightier than the sword, but still he insists on using a keyboard.