10 New Year’s Resolutions There’s Absolutely No Point Making

Here we go then. It€™s the tab-end of yet another (wonderful/sickening/vacuous ) year. And as we blindly steamroller into a new one, we can but cross our fingers and hope that 2015 sees Nigel Farage and his Monster Raving Racist Party blasted into the sun to be vapourised, and that America and North Korea stop all that pants-down flirting they€™ve recently been doing, lest they send each other that heart-tugging romantic gesture of nuclear apocalypse. On a personal level, however, it always seems naively comforting to set yourself elaborate goals in order to make the transition from one year to the next seem not completely hopeless. Regardless of how the previous year has treated you, you€™re determined to show the new one who€™s boss. This is usually in the form of New Year€™s Resolutions. That is to say, writing down a 12 month to-do list while utterly trollied on 1st January, and convincing yourself that these are your personal Ten Commandments. (i.e. absolutely pointless). In the midst of all the borderline alcoholism and disgust at half the Christmas presents you ended up with, your savvy seems to be so numbed by the cut and thrust of it all that you don€™t even acknowledge this delusional descent. For New Year€™s Resolutions are so unequivocally stupid that you generally spend more time and effort compiling a list than you do actually sticking to it. Outlined here are some of the most popular and gleefully futile resolutions that the general public make immediately after spending the preceding two weeks lying on their back with a bottle in their mouth. And slowly but surely, we€™ll all abandon the lot€