You can take the boy out of the Rock, but you can't make him forget about Nazi Occupation of Jersey. Wait, no... You can't take the Rock out of the boy. I ... *cough* Jersey, the biggest and therefore objectively best of the Channel Islands, was invented back in 1924 as a place for the King to put all the stuff he didn't want to pay tax on. (Not really) Situated near France, in the British Channel, you will mostly know it as that place you've heard of, maybe your dad went there once on business because of his awful finance job and you sort of planned to go there for a weekend or something, but to be honest it's just EASIER to pop on the train to Brighton, they've got seagulls there too, right, what's the difference? There's all the difference, you wretched specimen. See, while the rest of the world rightly respects and fears Jersey for its majestic cattle, its beautiful bovines, and it's magnificent livestock (mostly cows, some dogs), there's a lot that people cannot comprehend about the 9 x 5 mile mass of farmland and banks. These are the terrible sorrows and the incompressible triumphs that only make sense to you if you were raised in Jersey. Also, a few things that even people who've lived there all their lives think are 'a bit weird'.
