23 Problems Only Bar Staff Would Understand
Yay, it's Friday! Oh, wait...
Yay, it’s Friday! Oh, wait…
Anyone who works or has worked in a bar or pub will know the immeasurable willpower it takes to leave your wonderfully snug home on an evening; full of family, food and sweet, sweet television… and immerse yourself into the sticky, malignant world of drunks.
A good bartender is a very important addition to the universe -we’re more than just professional bottle lifters. We are givers of both verbal and liquid empathy and should be shown utmost respect, damn it.
So what happens when, suddenly, you’re sober, on the other side of the bar? Your perspective of drinking drastically shifts, that’s what. You’re suddenly fully aware of how alarmingly horrendous you look to a bartender, sprawled over the bar slurring like a battered-in Furby. You’ve started judging people by what they drink. Oh, and let’s not even get started on students. By last orders on a student night, most bartenders are rocking silently in the dish wash, after an evening of thoughts that would make Michael Myers blush.
It does have its benefits, though. On a weekend, you’ve started to believe you’re twice as attractive than what you actually are, due to being hit on at work every night. Albeit, by intoxicated fools, but it still counts, right? You can spectate the most hilarious displays of the kind of ‘human mating’ that even David Attenborough would have trouble narrating, and get to watch liquored up louts make fools of themselves. It’s all fun and games, ’til someone orders 18 Jägerbombs.
Pint pullers of the world, unite. Do share your pub woes, bartender rage and club nightmares with the rest of us in the comments below.
23. Customers Ordering A Mammoth Round Of Drinks One By One
That elated feeling in your stomach as the customer’s mates enter the bar, 20 seconds after their PAINFULLY slow order, and they simply MUST buy a round for them too.
In case you forgot, we are humans too, and we’re fully capable of storing a list of more than four drinks, thank you very much.
22. The Customer Who Needs The Head On Their Pint To Be Mathematically Perfect
If you’re that much of a beer expert, why are you drinking Coors Light mate?
21. Telling A Customer You’ve Stopped Serving And Getting “The Look”
You know, the look that says you’ve just killed their puppy, or diagnosed them with terminal illness. The heartbreak. The anguish. The #RAGE.
Hell hath no fury like a drunk after last orders, with their pleas of “just one”, especially when they’re adamant you’re a ghastly liar who just wants to ruin their night. Ah, the sweet abuse of the intoxicated.