WWDC 2012: 4 Levels of Rumours Swarming San Francisco

WWDC will be Tim Cook and Co. serving a spectacle big enough to dwarf The Avengers.

1. For the Rabid Fanboi

WWDC will be Tim Cook and Co. serving a spectacle big enough to dwarf The Avengers. They will blow open the wall and spray molten awesome over the attendees. James Brown will resurrect, untie his golden cape, present it, and kneel before Tim Cook. A believable argument to support the Rabid Fanboi€™s thesis: Tim Cook wants to make a show that this is Apple beyond Steve, though his spirit will live on. Tim is ready to show the world his brand of cool. What Rabid Fanboi€™s best case-scenario announcement will include: New Mac Pros New Mac Mini New MacBook Pros New MacBook Airs New AppleTV OS X 10.8 Mountain Lion iOS 6 iCloud Siri The most contentious item on this list is the first, the Mac Pro. Or, rather, the lack of a new one for at least a decade. There is righteous indignation spewing from €œHigh End€ users lips when it comes to the Mac Pro, €œAre you kiddin€™ me? It€™s been two full years since I€™ve been able to give you my money. I€™m the reason the company did not fold under Scully. You better listen to me! I€™m serious!€ Apple just can€™t seem to find that perfect spot between the €œYour updating too fast, greedy bastards€ rant and the €œWe€™re never gonna get nuthin€™ new€ tantrums the consumers keep giving them. It€™s so easy. Apple, I freely give the answer to you: Deliver exactly what each individual user wants, exactly when she/he/it has the money for it. Check out part 2 below...
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Contributor

Aeryk is a delicate fondue of Viking and Cajun stock, with all the subtly, grace and refinement of a moonshine high colonic. He wiles away the late, late, late hours in orgies of sex and violence with the likes of "Sex With the Headless Corpse of the Virgin Astronaut". His iTunes library is named Bad Mother F****r despite the fact it has The Bangles Greatest Hits. At night his dreams are of being a paid para-professional, part-time writer.