Rumours are clogging up every news source at just about every turn of the hour. Rumours concerning the wonderful things Apple will be announcing at WWDC today.

I have collected and read all the news for the past week so you would not have to. The rumours come in many different shades of likelihood. I have broken them into four groups:

 

1. For the Rabid Fanboi

WWDC will be Tim Cook and Co. serving a spectacle big enough to dwarf The Avengers. They will blow open the wall and spray molten awesome over the attendees. James Brown will resurrect, untie his golden cape, present it, and kneel before Tim Cook.

A believable argument to support the Rabid Fanboi’s thesis: Tim Cook wants to make a show that this is Apple beyond Steve, though his spirit will live on. Tim is ready to show the world his brand of cool.

What Rabid Fanboi’s best case-scenario announcement will include:

  • New Mac Pros
  • New Mac Mini
  • New MacBook Pros
  • New MacBook Airs
  • New AppleTV
  • OS X 10.8 Mountain Lion
  • iOS 6
  • iCloud
  • Siri

The most contentious item on this list is the first, the Mac Pro. Or, rather, the lack of a new one for at least a decade. There is righteous indignation spewing from “High End” users lips when it comes to the Mac Pro, “Are you kiddin’ me? It’s been two full years since I’ve been able to give you my money. I’m the reason the company did not fold under Scully. You better listen to me! I’m serious!” Apple just can’t seem to find that perfect spot between the “Your updating too fast, greedy bastards” rant and the “We’re never gonna get nuthin’ new” tantrums the consumers keep giving them. It’s so easy. Apple, I freely give the answer to you:

Deliver exactly what each individual user wants, exactly when she/he/it has the money for it.

Check out part 2 below…

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