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So let’s get this out of the way: As anyone who’s read my other articles knows, River Song is a great idea but a wasted opportunity in my opinion. She showed up with a fascinating set of questions and character, and turned out to be one note innuendoes and the most obvious origin in the Universe once all the pieces fell into place. Anyone who was shocked by her parentage would have to ignore the fact that the suspects in the lineup were numbering, er, two. And now, that leaves her to show up, carry a gun, spout off some flirty tripe once a season. Suddenly, “Torchwood Season 5″ sounds comparatively awesome….

Sorry! Was losing my mind a bit there. Really, the true tragedy of Melody Hackjob is that Doctor Who actually still has had SEVERAL characters that are well worth further investigation. Much as I love Classic Who, New Who has had some of the more tantalizing ones too! What you could previously count on 4 (0r 6) x 25 minute episodes to flesh out now sometimes whets your appetite with someone incredibly appealing or exciting for 20-40 minutes….and then, nothing.

This, this is a tribute to those characters who deserve a bit more. (Certainly more than that lady from ER’s been getting.) But first, some ground rules:

1. There are some well known characters from the Classic Series who’ve been granted audio spinoff series (Jago and Litefoot of “The Talons of Weng-Chiang”, the entire friggin’ cast of “Remembrance of the Daleks”). This is not their place. Yeah, I’d love to see Jago and Litefoot again, but they really had their story (As did the “Counter Measures” crew. )And now, they’ve several more. This is more characters who seemed CERTAIN to have more time in the sun. But we’re still waiting for it. Even sans pictures.

2. I’m only counting a couple of companions. As you’ll see with my selections, my choices involve either a) seriously unanswered questions and b) a certainty that there was more time with the Doctor that we simply haven’t seen.

3. I’m also not counting spin-off media, deleted scenes, or fan theories. So all you “Did Harriet Jones REALLY die in “The Stolen Earth”? We never SAW it happen onscreen…” just stop. Right now. And until they come back, the Master and Davros have an end to their (current) story too. (Although, I firmly believe neither to be gone forever – They’ve a habit of cheating death. All the more reason to ignore them here.)

4. Anyone who mentions Adam from Series 1 – Get a life. Ha ha! No really, does someone want that?

5. Also not counting UNIT. Sorry – In addition to the organization moving along with the show, for people who MUST know what happened to their Classic era soldiers, there’s fan films with adorable, cuddly Yeti for that sort of thing –  hit up Youtube. (Also, you can catch up with “Kate Stewart – The Perm Years”)

6. Also, all you “10th Doctor clone and Rose” people – There’s fanfic forums for you lot; Go write the sci-fi “50 Shades” based on those two already!

And on a somber note…..the honourable mention:

Honourable Mention: Sarah Jane Smith

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There’s very obvious reasons we’re not having Matt Smith call on dear Sarah Jane this year come November – Elizabeth Sladen sadly passed away. And trust me, I assure you, in this 50th year we’d’ve been guaranteed a brilliant moment with her on either her own show (which I’m sure would still continue) or on “Doctor Who” itself.

I KNOW that the implication by silence on Sarah Jane is that she’s still out there fighting the good fight. It’s good, right? Knowing that even our current Doctor stopped in with her and she was still crusading for our world in a Scooby-Doo kinda way?

I know we can’t see her again, sadly. But a throwaway line this year from Smith come November about having stopped in for some maintenance on K-9 at Bannerman Road would be a welcome tribute. We got so used to having her around again, and unlike almost every other Davies regular, she even got screen time with Matt Smith. It’s a shame we can’t stop in again, but an implied update’d be lovely.

And now, on with the show…..

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This article was first posted on May 12, 2013