If youre not sure what a magnificent bast*rd is, then you may need to check your bookshelves or your DVD racks: its one of the most popular archetypes in fiction of all kinds, a staple of cinema, in particular, since the advent of motion pictures. Magnificent bast*rds are the epitome of bold charisma, capturing the attention and even admiration of the audience. Theyre not always hip or cool, but seem to transcend image or fashion: however they portray themselves, theyre always consummate show stealers, always one step or more ahead of their enemies, always compelling and audacious. Magnificent bast*rds are usually plotters, manipulators, capable of breathtaking acts of glorious mayhem in the service of whatever their goals and objectives might be, and almost always come out on top and even in defeat, a magnificent bast*rd will usually pull it out of the fire and achieve some form of victory. Often lone wolves or maverick leaders, never simply followers, magnificent bast*rds are sometimes protagonists, sometimes villains but usually confidently walk the high wire between the two. Think Sherlock Holmes, but also James Moriarty: badass gentlemen thieves like the Saint, Flambeau and Robin Hood; murderous criminal masterminds like Lex Luthor, Fantômas and Keyser Söze; more-human-than-human polymaths in comic books, like Batman, Doctor Doom and Ozymandias. At its core, professional wrestling is all about that high wire, telling stories about the disconnect and conflict between hero and villain that are rooted in the same archetypal mythologising as superhero comics. At their best, pro wrestling angles create the perfect space for a magnificent bast*rd to thrive, as theyre predicated on mutual one-upmanship in the ring and outside it, keeping the audience hooked (and hopefully spending money) on following the narrative through to a satisfying conclusion. More than that, though: decades of smarks and dirtsheets obsessing over backstage shenanigans and politicking the angles behind the angles have created a separate set of characterizations in pro wrestling. The so-called real people behind the exaggerated heroes and villains they portray in the ring arent necessarily any more real than those worked personas, of course but lets not spoil anyones fun. Here they are, then: the most magnificent bast*rds in WWF and WWE history. Some are legit, some are just the characters they play and some youll be hard pressed to know which is which
Professional writer, punk werewolf and nesting place for starfish. Obsessed with squid, spirals and story. I publish short weird fiction online at desincarne.com, and tweet nonsense under the name Jack The Bodiless. You can follow me all you like, just don't touch my stuff.
