The professional wrestling industry has a long and tortuous history with the concept of the heel authority figure, dating back to Eric Bischoff, whose smarmy villain of a boss in WCW in 1996 predates Vince McMahons Mr. McMahon character by a year or so. These days, it seems that you cant have a pro wrestling show without an arrogant, petty dictator in a position of power, willing to abuse that power by preying on a noble babyface. Of course, its not usually as simple as making unfair matches: a heel boss has to be hated. They have to get themselves over as proper scumbuckets in order for the crowd to hate them enough to want to see the babyface punt them to the moon. That means gleefully doing bad things to good people; massively overreacting to the slightest criticism; vengefully punishing performers who stand up for themselves; keying cars, kicking puppies, that kind of thing. And, since this is WWE, those bad things dont always make a blind bit of sense. Sometimes theyre counter-intuitive, or even counter-productive, because the only thing that matters is that the boss looks like a gitweasel. Weirdly, theres also the odd occasion when theres been a babyface abusing his or her authority. Youd think that a good guy in charge would be a good thing, but since WWE babyfaces dont ever make rational decisions, they have even more potential to make stupid decisions. This article is dedicated to the dumbest, weirdest angles that WWF/WWE authority figures have ever run: the most nonsensical punishments these horrible bosses have ever inflicted upon their long-suffering roster.
Professional writer, punk werewolf and nesting place for starfish. Obsessed with squid, spirals and story. I publish short weird fiction online at desincarne.com, and tweet nonsense under the name Jack The Bodiless. You can follow me all you like, just don't touch my stuff.
