Game Of Thrones: Ranking 30 Characters' Chances In The Royal Rumble

There can only be one winner, and one huge pile of corpses.

Of course you've always wondered who would win in a fight between every Game Of Thrones character. Of course you have. That's about 30% of what it means to be a fan of the swords, sex and slayings epic. Thanks to the sprawling world created by George RR Martin, actually seeing those characters fight toe to toe is often impossible geographically, but it doesn't stop fan fictions coming up with answers of their own. And now, with the WWE Royal Rumble as inspiration, we've taken a stab (pun massively intended) at picking the order that Game Of Thrones cast of characters would be eliminated should such an event invade their world. Obviously this takes certain things into account: bravery, toughness and tactical scheming as well as military strength and skill. Forget the logistics of this entire scenario and let your hair down after a long five seasons of watching your favourite characters die... by watching your favourite characters (both living and dead) hacking each other to pieces in the very first, Game Of Thrones Royal Rumble, ranked in order of how well they'd fare when pitted against each other. There are 30 contenders... Which brawler is your money on?

30. Janos Slynt

Janos Slynt would emerge with a wealth of experience, an unjustified swagger, and the look of a man who thought he was ten spaces above his station. He would parade for the crowd, and they'd be relatively impressed until they remembered the cowardly rumours surrounding his disappearance at the Wall. After all, that is Janos Slynt; a pure bred coward who couldn€™t come close to matching the skills of a true knight. Method Of Elimination: Upon reaching the ring and a real fight against stronger foes, Janos' face would drop quicker than he could flee and Jon Snow would remove his head without a flicker of remorse during the opening stages.

29. Joffrey 'Zero Per Cent' Baratheon

Joffrey would stride onto the stage, crossbow in hand, firing pot-shots into the audience just for japes. He'd demand to enter the ring last, maximising his chances simply because he was the King, they couldn't hurt the King. However, in the heat of a battle, Joffrey wouldn't know where to start. He'd act tough to begin, but he'd quickly falter under the pressure. Method Of Elimination: Tyrion would rush to his nephew with wine in hand to ease the pain of battle. Within minutes Joff would be floored, with his entire head on the verge of exploding, sparking global street parties for those watching at home.
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What Culture contributor. NCTJ accredited Sports Journalist. Regret-filled Sunderland AFC season ticket holder. Optimism-filled NFL fan. Lover of all things Game Of Thrones, Breaking Bad, Walking Dead & more.