WWE Old School RAW Is New School Disappointment

rawlogo Last night€™s RAW was billed as the €œOld School€ edition of RAW. I was a huge fan the first time they did this a few years ago and was looking forward to last night. However, this Old School RAW really didn€™t have an Old School feel to it as much as the other episode. Save for a few Legend appearances and the set, this RAW could have been on any other week. The show may have supposed to have been Old School, but it was filled with enough New School disappointment. OPENING SEGMENT DONG! Yes, that€™s right, he€™s back. The Undertaker made his official return last night (although I€™m sure if Tout returns actually count as a real return, if so, he came back last week via Michael Cole€™s iPad) and set up his annual match for Wrestlemania. The way they did it was fine. Undertaker came out, walked to the edge of the stage, cued the fire and turned on the Titantron by raising his hands and revealing the Wrestlemania logo. I cannot express my disappointment that right off the bat, Old School RAW dropped the ball by having the Undertaker wear his Shredder from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles outfit as opposed to rockin€™ some purple gloves and a crow. I get that they have to keep the modern guys modern, but the Undertaker has so many Old School gimmicks they could have used. Following The Undertaker€™s appearance, CM Punk came out and talked about how he should be headlining Wrestlemania but won€™t be. Instead, he wants to take out The Undertaker and end the streak. I like how Punk tied the numbers in his winning streak to Undertaker€™s Wrestlemania streak. It was clever and I liked it. Then, it all fell apart. Randy Orton, taking a break from his current storyline of nothing, comes out and makes his claim that he should be taking on The Undertaker at Wrestlemania. Randy Orton and Undertaker have history at Mania, so that made sense. I just felt like they were trying to do some haphazard booking for RAW. Still, Randy Orton VS CM Punk would have been a fine main event. And then Big Show€™s music hit and my eyes rolled back further into my head then even the Undertaker. Big Show says he should take on The Undertaker because it takes a giant to take him down. He also said that the last time he faced Undertaker, he didn€™t have THESE (referring to his knock-out punch). What a weird thing to say Big Show. Were you unable to form a fist last time you fought? Punching people is a pretty simple thing to do in a match. Certainly, you weren€™t alluding to you not having hands the last time you faced him. I€™ve seen the match. You had hands, Big Show, you had hands. As my eyes continued to roll back into my head, Sheamus€™ music hit and forced my eyes from my sockets like that Goosebumps character who worked in the library. How many storylines must you be in Sheamus? When you aren€™t busy crapping on Wade Barrett€™s movie career, taking on The SHIELD, or whoever else you might want to FOIGHT FELLAH! that day, do you just find time to take on The Streak as well? Regardless, a Fatal 4 Way match was made who would determine who would challenge the Streak at Mania. My friend Ryan made a very interesting point about this match and the match against Undertaker at Wrestlemania. The past four years, the person to challenge Undertaker had to move the moon to get the match. We sat through weeks and weeks of THIS BUSINESS and IT WILL BE THE END OF AN ERA and that one part of the Metallica song last year before Undertaker agreed to take on Triple H again. This year, he€™s just going to face the winner of a Fatal 4 Way? I€™m sure Triple H would have been happy to have gone that route instead of wining and dining The Undertaker like he€™s Brett Favre.
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I'm a 31 year old writer and stand-up comedian from the good ol' USA. I graduated from the University of Southern Indiana with a degree in Communications that I use to to write jokes on the internet. I'm an avid gamer, media consumer, and pro wrestling fan. I'm also the co-host of the podcast Pop Culture Pizza Party, available on iTunes and Spotify