10 Action Movies That Prove Hollywood Hates You
1. Speed 2: Cruise Control
Sure, it cost $110m, stars a future Oscar winner and was directed by Die Hard’s cinematographer, but all this unnecessary sequel to the 1994 smash is prove, once again, that you can’t bottle lightning.
It also proves what a Godlike Genius Chuck Norris is, because this is the kind of movie he could’ve made more cheaply a decade earlier, except it would’ve been fun to watch. It ticks all the boxes of a Norris vehicle: it’s as ambitious (and credible) as a straight-to-DVD Scooby Doo movie, the hero is an indestructible cop on the “Suicide Club” and the repartee between the leads is pretty cheesy. Well, actually it’s toe-curlingly awful, and the longer it goes on, the more you want to shout “hurry up and die.”
Filling in for Keanu Reeves, Jason Patrick does what he can with The Script From Hell (co-written by Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull’s Jeff Nathanson – nuff said), but Sandra Bullock’s character has been transformed into an 80s action starlet: all she does is whine, perform unfunny slapstick and get herself kidnapped. Bullock later joked that the movie was “the biggest piece of crap ever made”….and signed on for Miss Congeniality 2: Armed And Fabulous.