10 Alternative Films For Valentine's Day
5. Hospital Massacre
Nineteen years after a psychopath impaled her brother on a hat stand as punishment for tearing up his Valentine card, Susan (former Playboy cover girl Barbi Benton) arrives at the hospital to pick up test results, little realizing that the psycho is back and has changed her medical records.
This somehow leads to Susan being detained by the medical staff and subjected to the kind of sleazy assessments Playmates usually receive in horror pictures, but not only does Barbi prove a great screamer, she can take a nude prostrate exam with the best of them.
About halfway through the film, Susan’s boyfriend Jack, who’s been waiting in the car the whole time, finally comes to the rescue and….loses his head to the psycho’s bone saw.
Said noggin is then delivered to Susan in a bow-tied box, but when she summons help it’s been replaced by a cake, leading the too-dumb-to-be-believable nurses to restrain her etc. Then they wander off alone for an appointment with the psycho’s saw etc etc.