10. Cruel Intentions
Look, when I was a teenager, I thought that this film was 'deep'. But to give you some perspective, here's a quick list of things that I also thought were 'deep' when I was fifteen years old: 1. Franz Ferdinand lyrics. 2. Myspace quizzes. 3. Wicca. So now, dear reader, you not only know that there is a seedy side to my celluloid collection, but also that when I was a teenager, I was insufferable. You hear that 'shrrkkerrch' noise? That's my Hipster Cool Cred licence being shredded. Let's move on now that's there's nothing left to lose.
Cruel Intentions stays in the DVD drawer because it is a cheesy classic. In between Selma Blair asking for blowjobs like a Blow-o-Matic 2000, Ryan Philippe being paid millions to simply pout and Joshua Jackson screeching like a parrot on Ritalin, this tale of teenage lust is so overwrought it's in a league of it's own. It's saved however by a killer soundtrack, and Sarah Michelle Gellar's hell-for-leather portrayal of a sex kitten. Somehow that woman still manages to look sexy even though she's speaking in some weird 'Madonna English' accent, and thrusting her boobs out in a way that would make even the late Anna Nicole Smith blush. It's amazing.