10 Best Anti-Valentine's Day Movies

As Adam Sandler memorably sang, love stinks.

Heathers Christian slater
New World Pictures

Love, as the one of the multitudinous songs on the subject tells us, is a many-splendored thing. A source of boundless joy for some; a bottomless pit of despair for others. Sometimes, a bit of both at the same time. Still, wherever you stand on the matter of love, surely most of us can agree what an overblown, fatuous spectacle Saint Valentine's Day generally is.

Sure, there's no real harm in giving lovers an excuse to treat one another. Still, to promote a sense of obligation to make some grandiose display of affection on one specific day per year, just because that's what the media and social convention dictates: really now, where's the romance in that?

Small wonder, then, that while shop windows and advertising turn pink, fluffy and jewel-encrusted, demanding we spend vast quantities on our significant others because they'll think we don't care about them otherwise, there are plenty of us who'd prefer to see the whole custom binned.

As such, while for some the 14th of February is the day to snuggle up with a nice, non-threatening romantic comedy, some might find it to be the perfect day for the polar opposite: movies in which true love does not conquer all, and the frailties and frivolities of our popular concept of romance are laid bare.

If you truly hate Valentines with a black-hearted vengeance, any of the following 10 movies should go down just right with your pink champagne and Milk Tray.

10. Heathers

Heathers Christian slater
New World Films

Conceived as an angry reaction against the dominant John Hughes high school comedy model of the time, 1988's Heathers is also a wonderfully macabre twist on the romantic comedy, which still hasn't lost its sting 30 years later (and hopefully still won't once the doomed-to-disappoint TV reboot airs later this year).

Winona Ryder (in her first leading role after breaking big in Beetlejuice) is Veronica, a popular girl thanks to her association with elite clique the Heathers, so-called because all of them aside from Veronica have that same first name. However, Veronica is quickly losing patience with their back-stabbing, superficial ways.

Enter Christian Slater as JD, the enigmatic new kid at school, and a walking bad boy cliche with his long black coat and motorcycle. Bewitched, Veronica happily gets swept up in a whirlwind romance with this exciting stranger - but finds out too late that he's completely psychotic, and is manipulating her into helping him murder the bullies that rule their school.

Heathers has always been most noted as a biting satire on life as a high school student, frequently cited as an influence on any teen comedy that takes a similarly satirical approach (e.g. Drop Dead Gorgeous, Mean Girls).

However, it's also a dark antidote to your standard movie romance, questioning the validity of 'love at first sight,' and demonstrating how easy it is to lose sight of oneself and one's better judgement when caught up in the fog of infatuation.

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Ben Bussey hasn't written a bio just yet, but if they had... it would appear here.