10 Amazingly Bad Action Films You've Never Seen

Once you’ve seen enough bad action films, you begin to actually acquire a taste for bulletproof cops, invulnerable martial arts masters, and disturbed, indestructible villains. 

These guys aren’t likely to be mistaken for, say, Douglas Fairbanks or Alan Ladd, their silly shenanigans are several rungs below Bond or Bourne, and the picture itself isn’t even “good” – that is, endorsed by critics – but so what? Most of us don’t go to the movies for great art, just good popcorn. A film doesn’t have to be Vertigo or Citizen Kane, just ninety minutes that doesn’t leave the viewer feeling they’ve been had.

You grow to love the clichés in all their cheesy glory, and these occasionally lame, often derivative efforts still pack a surprising amount of dumb fun, whether you’re watching a WWE brawler chasing the scumbags who took his wife or, if you want something more cerebral, a WWE brawler fighting a chainsaw-wielding frog-man in the post-nuke desert.

Besides, who said every action hero has to be as noble and patriotic as James Stewart? Gary Daniels may not have shot Liberty Valance (neither did Stewart – it was John Wayne, standing in the shadows) but in Fist of the North Star he has the power to make his opponents’ heads swell and explode just by tapping them.

Dumb fun is a constant theme in the 10 movies that follow, though fans of berserk plotting and bug-eyed acting will also get their fill.

Former Playmate of the Month Jeanne Bell fills in for Pam Grier in this Philippines-shot Blaxploitation action movie, playing a street-smart young woman who gets into fights every five minutes while searching for her missing brother.

Though game. Bell is no Pam Grier and certainly no martial artist, meaning her fight scenes are mostly good for laughs until her stunt double steps in to perform all the spine shattering bone blasting kung-fu kicks this one mamma massacre squad seems incapable of in close-up shots.

She does get one memorable fight scene, though. Confronted by gangsters, Bell plunges the room into darkness, removes her clothes (“You want it black, you got it black!”), and goes one on one with her assailants.

Produced by Roger Corman and co-written by Dick Miller, the film’s provenance alone guarantees it cult status, but it’s the unbelievable fight scenes and lively dialogue (“I’m gonna find ‘em, I’m gonna get ‘em and I’m gonna bust the motherfu**ers to pieces!”) that make it a must-see.