10 Bonkers Theories Roger Ebert Had About Famous Movies

9. Jurassic Park Should Have Been A Documentary

What Ebert Said

It's very much like Ebert wanted the other Attenborough to be cast in Jurassic Park, which he says was ruined entirely by the horror/adventure elements:

"But consider what could have been. There is a scene very early in the film where Neill and Dern, who have studied dinosaurs all of their lives, see living ones for the first time. The creatures they see are tall, majestic leaf-eaters, grazing placidly in the treetops. There is a sense of grandeur to them. And that is the sense lacking in the rest of the film, which quickly turns into a standard monster movie, with screaming victims fleeing from roaring dinosaurs."

So, what, he wanted a cold documentary, inviting us to enjoy the effects in a vacuum? That's just silly.

His assertion that Blair Witch: Book Of Shadows should have been a documentary too was much more in tune with reality.

The Reality

Walking With Dinosaurs exists, and it absolutely was not as good as Jurassic Park. As a documentary, you lose Sir Ian Malcolm's cult appeal, you lose the complexity of John Hammond's motivations and his prickly persona leading to the park's downfall, and you lose the universal, exciting spirit that will endure long after the effects have been rendered outdated and barely impressive.

Forgive me, but I'd rather watch humans learn the painful lessons of reviving giant killing machines than just spy on them peacefully eating trees.