3. The Smurfs
There were a total of 256 episodes of The Smurfs. From that total, the number of episodes in which the little blue buggers inexplicably found themselves stranded in Central Park (or, alternatively, Lost In New York) is precisely zero. Maybe the original writers thought that the idea of getting stuck in subway train doors or falling into toilets just wouldn't be that funny. And presumably they thought that having the evil wizard Gargamel (Hank Azaria, has it really come to this?) pratfall his way across the Big Apple, either running into the back of taxis or being hit by buses, wouldn't be much of a laugh, either. You know what really isn't funny? That a live-action version of The Smurfs has made over $500 million. It's annoying- but understandable, at least- that the filmmakers would choose to advertise New York itself for the best part of two hours. Less forgivable, however, is the mountain of product placement stacked before us, with less-than-subtle endorsements of everything from M&Ms to Blu-Ray. So brazenly does it whizz through its corporate wishlist, you can't help but feel that the only reason the Smurfs wind up in the apartment of an expectant couple (played by Neil Patrick Harris and Jayma Mays), is so that the film has a way to shoehorn in a promotion of Guitar Hero. And, you know, so that the Smurfs can bug the hell out of Neil Patrick Harris. So basically, it's Alvin and the Chipmunks; but instead of singing, they say 'Smurf'. A lot. In 3D. And in hiring Raja Gosnell as director, Columbia Pictures really have gone to the dogs; with Gosnell having previously worked on two Scooby Doo movies and Beverly Hills Chihuahua. The sequel, due to be released later this year, has relocated The Smurfs to Paris. So don't be surprised to find Smurfette draped head to toe in Dior... oh, and Gargamel being run down by a Metro train.