1. Thou Shalt Not Sequelize/Prequelize The Remake Of An Iconic Classic
This rule is the most important one, despite the fact that it's been broken many times, though sometimes with good reason. As if executing a remake weren't enough, sometimes the public wants more on these characters they've come to love again. So say you were to strike gold and remake Casablanca in a manner that managed to not tick off the scores of fans and devotees the film has gained over the past couple decades. Good on you for casting Daniel Craig as Rick, Rachel Weisz as Elsa, and Tom Hiddleston as Victor (it also wasn't a bad idea to choose Christoph Waltz as Capt. Renault, but we'll leave the debate on that topic to the Oscar voters.) In this world where cries of "Encore! Encore!" have sent screenwriters back to the mill, trying to figure out what happened to Rick and Elsa after that fateful night, well... Stop it. You're ruining the mystery of the franchise and you're degrading its memory. Sure, the Oceans franchise started on this very premise, but the source material was iconic for the cast that was in it, not the film itself. Using something like Casablanca to launch a franchise ruins decades of mystique and legend built on the back of a truly iconic film, and rightly so. Don't believe this is a disastrous ploy for cash? Ask anyone involved in Scarlett. Better yet, do you even know what Scarlett is? Some screen couples are iconic for not getting the cookie cutter happy ending. Some villains get away. Some heroes are left with a cold realization that while the day was won, it's not always a cozy feeling. Revisionist history isn't going to help the industry: new ideas are. Maybe studios will look at these commandments and ultimately see how hard it is to capture lightning in the bottle that is a successful remake. If not... then thou art doomed, Hollywood!
Agree or disagree with these commandments? Which have we missed? Let us know in the comments section below.