1. For Your Height Only (1989)
Starring the one and only Weng Weng, a Filipino midget - at 2 feet 9 inches tall and clad in a John Travolta-esque Saturday Night Fever all white disco suit, For Your Height Only is obviously a poor pun on For Your Eyes Only. However, it manages to be exorbitantly more entertaining than all the regular Bond films put together thanks to our tiny chum Weng Weng. Weng is agent 00, sent to stop a drugs lord named Mr Giant (who is a dwarf but still vastly outsizes dinky little Weng). Weng befriends a woman from inside the drugs operation and he has many violent confrontations with the drug folk. The story suddenly changes to Mr Giant possessing an N Bomb, its use is never really explained but Weng keeps on battling the baddies in the best way he can - by kicking them in the nuts - he is just the perfect height for groin based violence. He also has his own tiny Katana sword. Like every good Bond rip off, Weng has an arsenal of high tech gadgets. He has a little white hat which can fly at people and 'scare' them, a little machine gun, a tiny jet pack and a little ring that alerts him to poison in the vicinity. However he usually fights through groin based mayhem. He also has X Ray glasses that exist for titillation purposes only so that he can ogle naked women. A fantastic perk of the job! Despite his tiny size and horribly squeaky dubbed voice - Weng Weng is a bad ass mother and I would rather watch his antics over any of the Bonds any day. I love the way his boss speaks in 1930s American gangster slang. The baddies are entertainingly crap and drive VWs, no wander Weng kicks their behinds. Because he is so small, he finds it easy to creep up on the baddies and he really relishes knocking them down with a giant grin on his face. He possesses more charisma and enthusiasm in his tiny little finger than Sean Connery does in his entire body. There is much more humour in For Your Height Only than your average Bond movie, and there is also much more fun in watching the diminutive Weng save the day with his crappy gadgets and kicking baddies in the nuts. It is a terrific Bond spoof and once you watch it, I must warn you that you may find it addictive. It is impossible to dislike - it's too damn funny.