8. One of Our Dinosaurs Is Missing! (1975)
I really, really, really wantto like this movie, as I am a big fan of Helen Hays and Peter Ustinov. I love a good slapstick comedy and can forgive shoddy wirework if the scene itself is funny (think the rejected Nannies being blown away in Mary Poppins, for example). But in all honesty, I cannot stand this film as it is made. The plot is incredibly basic: a spy, being pursued by Chinese agents, takes refuge in a museum, where he first hides some microfilm in a dinosaur skeleton and then runs into his old Nanny, who he confides his story to before being captured. The faithful Nanny bands together with her old friends and sets out to a) protect the skeleton and b) rescue the spy. Wacky cross-country escapades ensue, with lots of crazy situations and everything short of a tv laugh track. Witness the scene where the sneaky Chinese try to steal the skeleton from the museum, and you will see what I mean. Between the vaguely oriental music and the horribly chop socky style of fighting, this movie looks dated, tired and about as much fun as listening to your elderly aunt tell you about her last operation. But it IS salvageable. Times have changed, and so this movie would need to change as well. The challenge is to keep it unique and funny, so just turning it on its head won't be enough. Personally, I see the remake being about a group of kids who sneak into a museum to try and prove or disprove once and for all their grandmother's tales of heroically saving a spy in her younger days. A group of Chinese spies (why mess with the original bad guy, other than to make the bad guy truly ominous?) are attempting to access the secrets hidden in the dinosaur all those years ago at the same time. Add in a city-wide celebration, fireworks, slow economy leading to lack of guards, and you have a great jumping off point. Along the way, the kids need help, Grandma comes to the rescue, and everything winds up happy. If that doesn't sound like Disney to you, it sure does to me after movies like G Force and Spy Kids. I didn't say it was the best movie for a remake, just one that could benefit from one.