4. Shipwrecked (1990)
What can you say about a movie that features. pirates, a young hero with the unique name of Haakon Haakonsen, a man in a gorilla suit running around in Fiji, and a feisty, strong willed young girl who stows away on a pirate ship?? This movie brings to mind moments of humor from Treasure Island, Home Alone and even Marx Brothers comedies, but forgets to bring along the charm, the classic shine of them. This is not to say it is a bad movie, just one that did not benefit from repeated showings. The plot holes just were too much for it, and having recently re-watched it, I think it boils down to a failure to find a single story and stick with it. Too many plots in too short of a time, if you will. And having polite sailors and clean pirates is great for Saturday morning cartoons, but really now, you are a bad guy chasing a kid who has your treasure and you hesitate to shoot him because he's a kid you thought to be a decent cabin boy? Ugh. I can't honestly say that I didn't like this movie, I find it fun and a good basis of a movie. It just tried to please everyone, and failed. The source material, a ripping good book if you can find it at your local library or on Amazon (Haakon Haakonsen, a Norwegian Robinson by O.V. Falck-Yttr), is solidly aimed at the preteen male market, much like the Tintin books by Herge. The movie, on the other hand, seems tailor made for the younger crowd, with bits and pieces of "scary" moments thrown in. (Remember me mentioning the guy in the gorilla costume? That counts as a scary moment according to the ratings board.) Still, it would be easy to imagine this remade as either a swashbuckling blockbuster with some up and coming young actor, with a dash of love interest in the stowaway girl, and knock down drag out fighting from the pirates or the beginning of a franchise aimed at continuing to drive money to Disney. You would think, given the success of Pirates of the Caribbean, Disney could use another movie full of grubby guys going "Aaaaarrrrg!" And a hero with an easier name to pronounce, too!