7. No Escape (1994)
You know a prison is going to be bad when it's the only place that you can comfortably send Ray Liotta. Having already escaped various 'Level 5' (great name for a boyband) prisons, our Ray is deposited on a - wait for it - Level 6 (the five original boys and a new drummer) island prison over miles from civilisation called Absolom (downbeat death-metal fourpiece?). Basically, you get marooned with a load of nutters miles from the mainland - a kind of much less fun version of the Isle of Wight - and left to die. First falling in, and then off a cliff, with the evil 'Outsiders' (likes - spikes, long hair, guns and leather), Liotta finds himself living with the 'Insiders' (likes - mung beans, bamboo and knitwear) who are trying to exist in a semi-feudal world. Aside from the booby traps, and lack of provisions, you're also likely to die of boredom while wearing what appears to be a ladies sweater from Next. Around 99.9% of us would give up and wait for death by naff-crotchet top, in fact you'd only try escaping if you were someone like, well, Ray Liotta. Which is handy. Cue knife fights, explodifications and wooden stakes in the head en route to entirely disproving the title of the film. Honestly, you really can't get the staff to build decent island prisons this days.