Imagine Countess Dracula crossed with Spiceworld, only with better songs and less taste, and youve got Vampire Killer Barbys, a feature-length promo for Spanish punk band Killer Barbies (with their name changed to placate Mattel) from the director of She Killed In Ecstasy and Erotic Rites Of Frankenstein. After breaking down, the Barbies find themselves trapped in a gothic castle with scythe-wielding henchmen, dwarf assistants and a creepy servant who supplies his Countess with the blood she needs to retain her youth. The Countess is also a nymphomaniac, exposing herself at the dinner table before leading the male band members to her bedroom, where she performs the kind of shenanigans that would make Sharon Stone blush. Theres frontal nudity, decapitations, frontal nudity, death by steamroller and did we mention frontal nudity? Weirdest of all (no mean feat) is the end credits title card that informs us: Nobody really died. Our story is, in reality, a creation.
Ian Watson is the author of 'Midnight Movie Madness', a 600+ page guide to "bad" movies from 'Reefer Madness' to 'Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead.'
