Like cozy, non-threatening Saturday morning cartoon, Halloween sequel #7 starts as it means to go on - with credibility thrown to the wind. After explaining how Michael Myers survived being decapitated at the end of Halloween H20 (Ohmigod, she killed the wrong person!), the movie throws up several ideas that even Hanna-Barbera would've rejected as "too juvenile." Myers no longer resembles John Carpenter's creation - now he's an oaf who can be outsmarted by any teenager capable of texting "He's right behind you!" or "Run!", although it's inexcusable that nobody thought to text "Zoinks!" In a perfect example of Scooby Logic, a reality TV show is being broadcast from inside the Myers house on Halloween night, but neither the directors nor the "millions" of viewers witness the arrival of a 6 foot, knife-wielding psychopath in a white mask, whose first action is to stab one of the contestants in the head. Still unconvinced that the filmmakers intended to make a cartoon? Check out the scene where Busta Rhymes, playing a character named "Freddie", not only gets to fight Michael with mixed martial arts but also becomes the first person to tell him to scoot, skedaddle, get the f**k outta Dodge and walk away. For bad measure, he also kicks down a door with the zinger "Trick or treat, motherf**ker!" and calls Myers a "chicken-fried motherf**ker" after he's been burned alive. Scooby looks smart compared to this. Well, what other horror movies are just Scooby Doo is disguise? Share your picks down in the comments.
Ian Watson is the author of 'Midnight Movie Madness', a 600+ page guide to "bad" movies from 'Reefer Madness' to 'Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead.'
