For reasons too silly to explain, a family find themselves trapped in the basement of a haunted mansion, causing them to run around screaming for the rest of the movie. And before you ask, yes, they do decide to split up. Its that lame. Thir13en Ghosts is either a remake of William Castles 13 Ghosts or a retread of The 13 Ghosts Of Scooby Doo, and its tempting to see it as the latter - The Beatnik is played by Matthew Lillard, who was no doubt doing research for the live-action Scooby Doo movie. In preparation for playing Shaggy, he runs down dark corridors, screams and delivers wisecracks. Hes also done Shakespeare. The movie might be big, but it's certainly not clever. While its animated namesake gave us spirits named Maldor The Malevolent, Demondo, Queen Morbida and Zomba, these ghosts sport names like The Hammer, The Juggernaut, The Dire Mother and The Jackal. Seriously, guys, were you even trying?
Ian Watson is the author of 'Midnight Movie Madness', a 600+ page guide to "bad" movies from 'Reefer Madness' to 'Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead.'
