10 Horror Movies That Lose You In The First 60 Seconds

9. Microwave Massacre

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Wayne Berwick's Microwave Massacre centres on an middle-aged construction worker who grows increasingly unhappy with the elaborate food his wife cooks for him. While his work pals turn up with baloney sandwiches for their lunchbreak, poor Donald (Jackie Vernon) is left baffled when he unpacks giant crabs and the like.

For Donald's wife May, she's purchased an expensive microwave that she uses to make dishes deemed high class. After numerous arguments, a sozzled Don ends up bludgeoning his wife to death one night... then starts to realise that the tastiest food on the planet is human flesh. From there, Vernon's character starts to murder people to feed his cravings.

While one could ponder why Donald couldn't just make his own lunch if he was unhappy, many modern audiences may not even get to that part of the plot, for the opening sequence of Microwave Massacre is a ridiculously misogynist one.

As the opening credits roll, the camera is zoomed in on the backside of a young lady as she walks down a street. From there, the camera changes focus to the girl's breasts. Bafflingly, the woman then stops on the other side of a fence next to Donald's construction site, where she proceeds to stick her bare boobs through a well-placed hole.

This bizarre opening does nothing for the plot and has clearly not aged well in the years since Microwave Massacre was released in 1979.

Senior Writer
Senior Writer

Once described as the Swiss Army Knife of WhatCulture, Andrew can usually be found writing, editing, or presenting on a wide range of topics. As a lifelong wrestling fan, horror obsessive, and comic book nerd, he's been covering those topics professionally as far back as 2010. In addition to his current WhatCulture role of Senior Content Producer, Andrew previously spent nearly a decade as Online Editor and Lead Writer for the world's longest-running genre publication, Starburst Magazine, and his work has also been featured on BBC, TechRadar, Tom's Guide, WhatToWatch, Sportkskeeda, and various other outlets, in addition to being a Rotten Tomatoes-approved film critic. Between his main dayjob, his role as the lead panel host of Wales Comic Con, and his gig as a pre-match host for Wrexham AFC games, Andrew has also carried out a hugely varied amount of interviews, from the likes of Robert Englund, Kane Hodder, Adrienne Barbeau, Rob Zombie, Katharine Isabelle, Leigh Whannell, Bruce Campbell, and Tony Todd, to Kevin Smith, Ron Perlman, Elijah Wood, Giancarlo Esposito, Simon Pegg, Charlie Cox, the Russo Brothers, and Brian Blessed, to Kevin Conroy, Paul Dini, Tara Strong, Will Friedle, Burt Ward, Andrea Romano, Frank Miller, and Rob Liefeld, to Bret Hart, Sting, Mick Foley, Ricky Starks, Jamie Hayer, Britt Baker, Eric Bischoff, and William Regal, to Mickey Thomas, Joey Jones, Phil Parkinson, Brian Flynn, Denis Smith, Gary Bennett, Karl Connolly, and Bryan Robson - and that's just the tip of an ever-expanding iceberg.