7. Child's Play
As a child, the premise of this movie ruins you for the rest of your life. I used to have a "
My Buddy" doll. I loved it to pieces. He was my best friend. Then I saw Child's Play. Once that film was over, I surveyed every single toy I had with intent suspicion and my eyes quickly fell onto the "My Buddy" doll. From that day on he was locked inside my closet, never to be played with again. What Child's Play did for people, and for the genre, was take something popular and turn it against mankind. If they were to reboot the franchise, I think Chucky would need to be a minor component. I'm aware there's blasphemy in this, but look at what he's become. The Child's Play series is a joke. Literally. Not an ounce of those films is remotely scary or interesting. Anything cool or relevant about it fell away with the 80's and the decline of the Cabbage Patch Kids. What do kids play with today? Nintendo DS's, iphones, laptops, tablets, and the occasional toy. But action figures and dolls are, though it pains me to say, a thing of the past. What would happen if the toy of today started committing mass genocide? A lot of folks have iphones. Imagine if every iphone user on the planet suddenly dropped dead. Maybe Chucky's place is as a spirit, possessing technology instead of the singular body of a doll. I think any way you slice it, it's hard not to be hokey. But it's a film that, as far as the original goes, did what all great Horror films do. It caused parents endless grief from the nightmares it caused their children. No kid looked at his toys the same way again. That's pretty important as far as the genre goes and it's something I think, if done with care, could be re-done right. If it's good for anything, it helps control a child's incessant begging for the newest gadget. What kind of kid is going to want the tablet that also murders people? None. At least the film stays relevant by saving parents money on Christmas presents.
