10 Important Life Lessons Learned From Every Movie Ever

1. You Can Always Find A Chainsaw When You Need One

Chainsaw REC 3
The Asylum

Imagine: it’s your wedding day, and at the reception, all the guests start turning into zombies. What to do? According to Rec 3: Genesis, you needn’t do anything, because you’ll stumble across a chainsaw at just the right moment.

This also applies when a Sharknado strikes, and your town or city is paralyzed by flying CG creatures. When the authorities prove incapable of quelling the menace, there’s no need to panic, just look around and you’ll find a chainsaw, gassed up and ready to use.

A chainsaw is very useful thing to have when a shark eats your girlfriend. Simply feed yourself to the toothsome predator and, seconds later, you can cut yourself out of the creature’s stomach, your significant other clutched under one arm. 

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Contributor

Ian Watson is the author of 'Midnight Movie Madness', a 600+ page guide to "bad" movies from 'Reefer Madness' to 'Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead.'