10 Incredibly Filthy Jokes You Won't Believe Are Hidden In Children's Movies

When you're a kid, you don't really consider the fact that a bunch of human beings actually sat around a table and came up with all the stuff you see in movies. Why would you, after all? When you're a kid, it's all about the awe and magic of a film: thinking about director's names and low-budget special effects isn't exactly exciting to a child, is it?

Only when you're a bit older does such a realisation set in, and then comes that watershed moment when you suddenly understand. You get it. People wrote what the characters are supposed to say. It's all totally fake... and that's okay. Sometimes you sit down to revisit a favourite movie from your childhood, only to discover something that you failed to grasp all those years ago - in this case, some inappropriate moments that slipped past your undeveloped brain.

And it makes sense now, of course, when you realise that adults are the ones who write kids' movies. And adults are, by definition, disgusting.

Here are 10 unwholesome jokes embedded in a bunch of famous kids' movies, because - well come on, you'd do exactly the same thing in such a position, wouldn't you?

10. Scott Makes A Reference To His Drug-Addled Past - The Santa Clause

The Santa Clause is a movie about Tim Allen, and what happens when Tim Allen accidently murders Santa Claus and has to take his place at Christmas. It's one of those live-action Disney movies that, if you saw it as a kid, you probably think back on with nostalgic delight. If you saw it at any point past the age of fifteen, though, you were presumably forced into it by somebody who loved it as a kid and thinks back on it with nostalgic delight.

For the rest of you: it kind of sucks. Mediocre as this one is, then, there is a strange and interesting little gag inherent to this flick that somehow got past the Disney censors - a nice reference for all the moms and dads who were dragged out to see it, apparently, given that it's about drugs, and the '60s, and how anybody who lived in the '60s did a bunch of drugs.

When Allen's character, Scott, starts to fly like Santa, you see, his cute and innocent son comments: "Woah! You're flying!" Scott's inappropriate, winking retort? "It's okay, I'm used to it. I lived through the '60s!" So basically Allen's Disney dad character did a ton of LSD as a teen, and it's all right to put that in the movie, is it?

Coincidentally, Tim Allen used to love drugs in real life, too, which gives this a nice added layer of accidental meta-hilarity.

9. A Talking Computer Has A Fully-Fledged Orgasm - The Brave Little Toaster To The Rescue

I never thought I'd end up typing the sentence you just read in the title for as long as I lived, and yet... there really is a scene in sequel The Brave Little Toaster To The Rescue, an animated feature film concerning the adventures of a bunch of anthropomorphic appliances, where a computer has the digital equivalent of an orgasm.

I'm not kidding. I wish I were, to be honest, and although some might argue that the scene I'm referring to only accidentally conveys an orgasm, no... there's no way that the people who made this movie didn't do this sh*t on purpose.

Okay, so the scene in question begins with a computer talking about how his "memory banks are being stroked." All right, nothing too weird about that, I guess, except for those pleasurable sounds he's making at the same time: "Woo!" and "That feels sort of good!" to name a few, before he adds "I feel something happening inside of me!"

Uh, okay... so that's a bit weird, but not entirely incriminating, right? Wrong: the ending of the scene cements all this as an intentional sex reference. We pan over to a printer, and - as the computer tells us that he can't keep it to himself, the machine explodes with sheets of white paper, one after the other, accompanied with joyful sounds. Yes: I'm really implying that the computer orgasms and white paper comes out. Ew.

8. Small Boy Showcases Detailed Knowledge Of The Female Anatomy - Monster House

Monster House is one of a whole bunch of animated movies that kind of slipped under the radar when they first came out, despite the fact that it was actually pretty good, and probably deserved a little more attention. Don't get me wrong: Monster House made its budget back and was a moderate success at the box office, but it seemed to come and go without much fanfare, and you rarely hear about it these days at all.

Aside from being aimed directly at the children's market, though, it contains one bizarre and very specific reference to the female vagina. Seriously. During one scene, in which our cast of characters (who are all children, by the way) are discussing the "anatomy" of the titular Monster House, one kid says: "Well, if those are the teeth, and that's the tongue, then that must be the uvula!," whilst pointing at a chandelier.

"Oh, so this must be a female house," replies another kid. Um... are you kidding me, children's movie? The uvula, of course, is that dangly thing in your throat, which a character in this movie somehow gets mixed up with the vulva, which is a part of .. well, the vagina. But seriously... there are probably adults who didn't get this joke when the saw it - how the heck did this make it in?

7. Buzz Lightyear Pretty Much Gets An Erection - Toy Story 2

Even whilst watching Toy Story 2 as a kid, this little moment didn't seem weird or out of place at all, even before I realised what it was kind of going for: I don't know how to explain that further, but it makes sense to me. However you look at it, though, it's hard to argue against the fact that there's a part of this splendid Pixar sequel in which Star Command space ranger Buzz Lightyear gets... well, the toy equivalent of an erection.

The moment in question, then? During the scene where Buzz is introduced to cowgirl Jessie's talents (she's just as adept at leaping around Andy's room in an action style as he is), he stares at her in an awed manner before - yes - he wings pop up and start flashing. Okay, so it's not an actual erection, but there's no doubt about the fact that it's totally symbolic of one.

I mean, what else could that mean? Buzz gets excited in an, uh, "romantic" way, and his wings pop up... there's no other way to look at it. So, yeah, that's a plastic toy getting turned on. Pixar, you filth-bags.

6. Shaggy Confirms His Rumoured Love Of Marijuana - Scooby-Doo

Look, everyone knows that Shaggy loves drugs. Even though it's never shown or depicted in any of the episodes of the TV show, or made apparent at any point, it's just a common fact. Shaggy is the stoner of the Mystery Machine troupe, and that's all there is to it.

Look at his joyful, hazed expression, and slow-talking mannerisms. I think we all know that "Scooby Snacks" are, like, pot brownies or something Shaggy cooked up in a stupor at 3am.

Anyway, given that 2000's live-action Scooby-Doo movie was aimed at children, it wasn't as if the filmmakers involved suddenly found themselves with the opportunity to expose Shaggy in his true form - but they did go as far as to make a reference to his secret habits. During one scene, when Shaggy is on a plane, he meets a girl and they bond over a mutual love of Scooby Snacks.

When he asks her name, she tells him it's "Mary Jane." "Like, that is my favourite name," he says, wide-eyed. Mary Jane, of course, is a common slang term for... marijuana. Zoinks!

5. "Sugar Honey Iced Tea!" - Madagascar

Imagine you're faced with a singular problem: you want to use the word "sh*t" in your animated children's movie about talking animals imbued with the voices of Ben Stiller, Chris Rock and David Schwimmer, but there's no real way to do that, because nobody is going to let you put a swear word in a children's movie - what are you thinking, you maniac?

Somehow, though, the filmmakers behind the rather hilarious, sequel-spawning hit Madagascar managed to find a way: they realised that they could use the power of initials to achieve their dreams.

So, yes, during one particular scene, in which Ben Stiller's lion character Alex and Chris Rock's zebra character Marty are running towards one another on a beach to the theme from Chariots of Fire, Marty realises that Alex's loving strides aren't so loving after all, switches directions, and yells "Oh, sugar honey iced tea!"

This probably went over a lot of people's heads at the time, because most human beings aren't trying to find secret rude messages in kids' films when they sit down to watch them, but you'll see that it nicely spells out... well, you know.

4. Genie Alludes To That Sacred Marital Act - Aladdin And The King Of Thieves

If you've never seen Aladdin and the King of Thieves, don't bother. It's one of those lackluster straight-to-DVD movies that feels out of sync with the original.

Aside from giving Aladdin a father character, though, (essentially rendering many aspects of the first movie pointless), there is one part of the King of Thieves that is actually kind of funny, and it comes courtesy of the Genie, because that's where all the funny stuff comes from in Aladdin movies.

So how sly a sexual reference are we talking, you ask? Pretty sly. During Aladdin and Jasmine's wedding sequence, there's an earthquake, to which Genie casually mutters the line: "I thought the Earth wasn't supposed to movie until the honeymoon." A throwaway line it seems, until you realise that the Genie is actually referring to that consummation of marriage that traditionally occurs during a honeymoon.

3. Two Female Cars "Flash" Lightning McQueen - Cars

More Pixar-related smut here, because the world's favourite animation studio can't keep the filthy little references out of their movies, and that's totally okay with us. Cars is thought to be one of the less-inspired movies in the Pixar canon, because - c'mon - cars? The most creative idea you can muster up is talking cars, in a world inhabited entirely by cars?

Doesn't even make sense. What does make sense, though, is a part of the movie where a couple of hotties decide to expose themselves to main character Lightning McQueen. In a strictly vehicular sense, that is. Yes, during a scene at the beginning of the movie, where we're been shown Lightning McQueen's badass driving skills and associated popularity, a couple of convertibles - named Mia and Tia, if you're interested - flash him with their headlights in quick succession.

That's not all that bad until you realise what, exactly, this is supposed to signify. Mia and Tia are groupies, basically, and their flashing Lightning is the car equivalent of them flashing their naked breasts. It's actually a rather clever gag, made so by the double meaning of "flashing." But it's also filth. Serious filth.

2. Chef Implies A Sexual Fetish For Vegetables - Ratatouille

Of course, those guys over at Pixar would tell you no, absolutely not, we purely meant that Skinner was implying that, uh, you could learn too much about vegetables in the most generic way possible, but there's no way to get past the fact that this little utterance in Brad Bird's impossibly romantic Pixar movie about a rat who likes to cook stuff in a French restaurant is referring to something a little more risque.

And by that, I totally mean vegetable sex.

During one scene, then, Head Chef and stereotypical angry Frenchman Skinner comes into the kitchen to find lead character, Linguini, messing around in the ingredients cupboard. "What are you doing in here?" he shouts. "I'm just familiarising myself with, you know, the vegetables and such," says Linguini.

"Get out!" yells Skinner. "One can get too familiar with vegetables, you know!" So either he has personal experience with being "over familiar" with vegetables, or he knows someone who was. Either way, I wouldn't be inclined to eat any of the vegetables from any restaurant he's cooked in.

1. "Lord Farquaad" Sounds A Lot Like... Well, You Know - Shrek

Each and every time I sit down to watch Shrek, I find myself shocked to re-discover that the writers successfully managed to include a character called "Lord Farquaad" in the movie. If for some reason you're a bit confused as to what is being implied here, let me enlighten you: "Farquaad" sounds an awful lot like "f*ckwad."

At least, it does according to the scriptwriters, who - according to many sources - purposely assigned this name to the character in an attempt to sneak a really bad word into a children's movie. And they sort of got away with it, didn't they? As the villain of the movie (voiced by funny man John Lithgow), Lord Farquaad's name is required to be said a lot, of course, and it's never not funny to hear it being uttered.

Still, I'm surprised that nobody over at Dreamworks H.Q. asked the director to change the name of the character for peace of mind's sake. Apparently nobody picked up on the similarities, though, and now it's too late. The best way to hear the hidden word in this surname is to say it in a Scottish accent, apparently. Which is what Shrek has to do for the sum of the movie, of course. How... convenient.

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