2. Lindsay Lohan's Many Scrapes with the Law
Remember in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory when Veruca Salt has a complete freak-out in the golden goose area and goes around wrecking everything? I always think of Lohan this way, an out of control brat who has been spoiled by her incompetent, self-absorbed parents, and instead of a golden goose she wants more clothes, more coke, more roles, more credibility, even though she does really pathetic stuff like get kicked out of the Chateau Marmont for not paying her bills, and steals necklaces. But above all, Lindsay Lohan is just really, really pitiable and sad. It seems like nobody's ever sat her down and said loudly and clearly, 'maybe it's
you, you're the problem, not the paparazzi or "the public" that you always complain about'. Added to that are her parents, Dina and Michael, who are so nutty that even a bowl of cashews would be like, 'whoah, freaks, ease up'. Driving under the influence, cocaine use, holding up production on her films because of her selfish party lifestyle, trashing her trailer... you name it, Lohan's done it. Lohan could be a good actress - she showed potential in her earlier films. But she has blown so many chances that it's like she's obsessed with self-destructing. She's been reduced to being a parody of herself in shows like Glee, and getting her boobs out for Playboy. She has become a signifier for everything ugly about young Hollywood, the bright lights that are swallowed up and snuffed out. Good lord, Lindsay, just go and be something like a set designer before you end up as a statistic.