10 Messy Movies That Spent Way Too Much Time On The Effects

2. Die Another Day

Die Another Day When it came to the 20th James Bond film, the makers of Die Another Day pulled put all the stops. Numerous self-references to its predecessors. A big actress to play the principle Bond girl. (Halle Berry). Bond going through the emotional and physical ringer (his torture in North Korea). A very British villain (Gustav Graves). Some massive set pieces (Cuba, the ice palace in Iceland). Some imaginative gadgetry (the invisible car). And a massive recording artist to sing the Bond song. So how did it all go so wrong? Die Another Day is an utter mess of a Bond film. Madonna's song is appalling and then she goes and plays a disastrous cameo as a fencing instructor. Halle Berry was okay but didn't have that sass of many great Bond girls, despite all their attempts to do so. Pierce Brosnan, brilliant as Bond in his previous three entries, was already starting to look too old. Moneypenny descends into a fawning Bond girl wannabe. The villains are utterly forgettable. And the self-referencing to past Bond films takes dominance over any semblance of plot, so much that I wondered if I was now watching a parody of a Bond film. In fact its a cross between Diamonds Are Forever, Moonraker and Goldeneye but very messily done. (The super weapon is so similar to the Goldeneye weapon that you can't help feeling they're recycling a plot done three films earlier). Plus Bond surfing is so utterly terrible that it makes you a little embarrassed to be watching a Bond film. But it's the dependence on special effects that really kills this film. The aforementioned 'invisible Aston Martin' is frankly cheesy and the plot begins to navigate around the feature of this car rather than gadget and effects around plot. Yes, you could argue that every Bond film has the appearance of a gadget as a sign post for future usage, but in this case, its plain silly. we also have slow motion action sequences (are we watching The Matrix now?) and I have I mentioned the CGI surf scene? Its a film built around action set pieces but without the heart of any classic Bond film. I can't help feeling that the filmmakers aim was to create as many spectacular set pieces of possible for the celebration of 20 films...taking a leaf out of the George Lucas prequel trilogy guide to film making over any plot. It's the only Pierce Brosnan Bond film I don't (and won't) have on DVD. Frankly, I've tried to forget about its existence anyway, choosing to believe that Brosnan made a kick ass Bond trilogy, ending with the brilliant The World Is Not Enough (I don't get the hate for this one - though the character of Christmas Jones is terrible). In fact, I struggle sometimes to remember what was good about the film (I quite liked the Ice Palace set). But then we have the surfing scene. have I mentioned that yet?
Contributor
Contributor

A writer for Whatculture since May 2013, I also write for TheRichest.com and am the TV editor and writer for Thedigitalfix.com . I wrote two plays for the Greater Manchester Horror Fringe in 2013, the first an adaption of Simon Clark's 'Swallowing A Dirty Seed' and my own original sci-fi horror play 'Centurion', which had an 8/10* review from Starburst magazine! (http://www.starburstmagazine.com/reviews/eventsupcoming-genre-events/6960-event-review-centurion) I also wrote an episode for online comedy series Supermarket Matters in 2012. I aim to achieve my goal for writing for television (and get my novels published) but in the meantime I'll continue to write about those TV shows I love! Follow me on Twitter @BazGreenland and like my Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/BazGreenlandWriter