10 Monster Movies The Mummy Needs To Improve Upon

Here it is, monster movie fans – the action film that finally brings together Dracula, Frankenstein, The Wolfman and Mr Hyde, brought to you by the director of The Mummy and The Mummy Returns.

Seen briefly early on, Mr Hyde is the same ridiculous Hulk-like character we saw in The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen, while Dracula and Frankenstein’s monster have become so nonthreatening that they may as well be advertising breakfast cereal. Then there’s Van Helsing himself, who in this version becomes a monster hunter employed by the Vatican. He gets corny one-liners and a ton of gadgets, so Hugh Jackman plays him like a suave secret agent, not a bad idea when he’s acting against Kate Beckinsale’s glorified Bond girl.

Stephen Sommers is a director from the Michael Bay school of filmmaking who thinks that more is more and you can never have too much of ….well, everything. The film quickly becomes interminable as Sommers piles one noisy, repetitive action sequence on top of another and, for bad measure, gives the material a camp attitude.

Whether they’re a deformed hunchback or a Vatican priest, every character gets the same lame, painfully unfunny dialogue. When a man transforms into a werewolf, someone says, “Why does it smell like wet dog in here?” Someone tells Frankenstein’s monster: “I don’t know if you’ve seen a mirror lately, but you stick out in a crowd.”