10 Monster Movies The Mummy Needs To Improve Upon

Dario Argento may have been off his game of late, but here was a movie that couldn’t miss: an adaptation of Bram Stoker’s tale starring Rutger Hauer as Van Helsing and Thomas Kretschmann (Wanted, Blade II) as Dracula.

Unfortunately, the producer is Giovanni Paolucci, who makes the cheapest pictures possible (see: Zombies The Beginning). Looking so cheesy it could be mistaken for any bargain basement horror movie from the last decade, Dracula 3D throws in cheap CG effects (check out the wall-crawling vampires!) blah performances and rushed staging, suggesting a quickie that lucked out with a theatrical release.

When the director of Mother Of Tears makes a 3D vampire film where Dracula turns into a grasshopper (don’t ask), you’re not expecting High Art, just a movie with a few unintentional laughs. Alas, this bloodless romp is so listless that you’ll lean on the fast forward button.