6. Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End
I still don't know quite what happened to the PotC franchise. The ending of the first film seemed to reaffirm the status quo that the pirates are the bad guys and that the soldiers hunting them down are the good guys. Then when it became clear just how popular Johnny Depp's Jack Sparrow was the filmmakers slowly turned this equation on its head to make the pirates, the terror and menace of the seas, into good honest men and the forces of the East India Trading Company, the ones valiantly attempting to police said seas, into the worst thing since the Empire in Star Wars, presumably because they all wear smart uniforms and drink tea. (Ok, I know there's more to it than that, but still...) Anyway, the final showdown, the Battle of Calypso's Maelstrom as it's known in official Pirates lore, turns out to be a disappointment since it promises so much more. Much screen-time is devoted to establishing the alliance of the various pirate lords so that they can present a united front to meet the vast East India armada head on. They really needn't have bothered, since all they needed was the one ship. With two huge fleets ranged against each other and promising a tantalising encounter, it's just The Black Pearl and The Flying Dutchman who advance into battle. After shooting each other up for half an hour the Dutchman eventually gets swallowed up by a whirlpool, only to re-emerge and switch sides. The two ships, which you must imagine have taken quite a pounding from earlier, then flank Cutler Beckett's flagship The Endeavour, fresh into the action and arguably the most imposing ship of the entire franchise, and destroy it with one double broadside. Honestly. And you think how difficult it had been to sink even a smaller ship during the earlier films....Beckett doesn't even bother to fire his own cannons even with his lieutenants urging him so, such apparently is his shock at his business proposition having failed him. The rest of the East India armada swiftly disintegrates, and the pirate fleet raises a huge cheer, having contributed precisely nothing. I'm not saying it wasn't an impressive way to sink a ship; I just wish it had been allowed to do more beforehand and that battle had consisted of more than the activity of just three vessels. I really expected more of the film that stills holds the largest production budget of all time. Maybe they should have spent less time on the CGI that allows all those rocks to turn into crabs. I still find it hard to believe as well that anyone could have conceived that a frantic and storm-lashed naval battle was the best place to stage a wedding ceremony between Will and Elizabeth. I know this is a Disney production and that comic touches are to be expected throughout, but to undermine this serious occasion by such silliness seems to sabotage the sombre and dark tone that had been established for much of the film, especially through an opening sequence that had included child hanging.