We will admit that as much as we love the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and the movies depiction of the Shredder, there was something a little ridiculous about the sparkling fuchsia outfit he wore. But that doesnt excuse what Jonathan Liebsman gave us in the Michael Bay-produced desecration of our favorite Heroes in a Half-Shell. The Shredders new look is unbelievably impractical and stupid. It makes the Silver Samurai from The Wolverine look sensible in comparison. The Shredder is a ninja assassin, which means he needs the freedom to move about quickly and quietly. That oversized armor would let anyone within a ten-mile radius know youre coming towards them, making stealth attacks pretty much impossible. Not only does it make no sense for a ninja master to wear, but the gauntlets seem like giant Swiss army knives were grafted onto his arms. When the blades pop out all at once in the way they did in the film, there is no possible way anyone could think theyd be of actual use in a fight. The Shredders look here is something youd expect in a parody of the Turtles, not in a movie were supposed to take seriously as a reboot. But the depiction of both the Shredder and the Turtles as veritable giants who plod across the scene shows us that the filmmakers apparently have no idea what the word ninja actually means.
Percival Constantine is the author of several novels and short stories, including the Vanguard superhero series, and regularly writes and comments on movies, comics, and other pop culture. More information can be found at his website, PercivalConstantine.com
