Neil LaButes appallingly misjudged remake of the British horror classic is an entry on so many lists featuring unintentional hilarity. The original film, directed by Robin Hardy, is an unsettling creepfest dominated by Christopher Lees otherworldly performance as the head of a pagan order that sacrifice Edward Woodwards devout policeman at the climax. The original ending is subtle, as Woodwards Sergeant Howie has been specifically chosen and lured to the island to offer himself as a sacrifice because he is a Christian and doesnt believe in pre-marital sex: he is a virgin. As he is placed inside the statue of the wicker man and the idol is set ablaze, the setting sun frames the scene, rendering it eerie and unforgettable. Sadly, Nicolas Cage doesnt fare as well as Edward Malus. Elements of the plot are changed for no immediately apparent reason to make the missing girl that brings the policeman to the island his daughter, to remove the Christian aspect entirely and therefore to render the complicated luring of the man to the island entirely superfluous. Rather than have the islanders growing hardy crops, theyre made beekeepers and Malus is allergic to bees. The ending itself is so laughable that its become an online meme, as Malus has a mesh helmet full of bees strapped to his face, Cage delivering the immortal line, No! Not the bees! with gloriously hammy conviction, before being revived to be burned alive. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1GadTfGFvU
Professional writer, punk werewolf and nesting place for starfish. Obsessed with squid, spirals and story. I publish short weird fiction online at desincarne.com, and tweet nonsense under the name Jack The Bodiless. You can follow me all you like, just don't touch my stuff.
