10 Movie Adaptations You Already Know Are Doomed To Disappoint

Call it a sixth sense...

ghost in the shell scarlett johansson
Paramount Pictures

There's a reoccurring sense of bittersweetness that comes with the movie adaptation: audiences want nothing more than to see their favourite properties brought to life on the big screen. They want to sit down to a fully-fledged cinematic incarnation of something they love.

But this often comes paired with a niggling feeling that it's not a great idea at all - that subconscious inkling that a very expensive mistake is about to be made. It's not just unchecked pessimism - there's a lot of precedent.

Said feeling doesn't curb the sense of curiosity that goes with almost every announcement of a new adaptation, though. As audiences, we can't seem to help ourselves... Even when we know, deep down, that certain properties are best left in their original form, we clamour to see them on the big screen.

Whilst some adaptations set to arrive across the span of 2017 do appear to have a genuine shot at cinematic greatness, there are a good number that appear inherently doomed to fail. No matter how hard they try, they're probably destined to irk.

10. The Dark Tower

ghost in the shell scarlett johansson
Columbia Pictures

After years of will they/won't they make this phenomenal book series into a film, Stephen King's magnum opus is finally getting the big screen treatment. At first, it was easy to rejoice at the news - especially with Idris Elba and Matthew McConaughey cast in the leading roles. But there is much surrounding this adaptation to strike fear into the hearts of the fans.

The biggest concern, perhaps, stems from the studio's choice of screenwriter (or screenwriters, as it were). Rarely do films - especially adaptations like this - credited to four writers turn out well, and the reason for this is compromise.

How can you create a singular, driving vision with so many cooks involved in the creative process? It doesn't help, either, that one of said cooks is Akiva Goldsman, who has "gifted" audiences with filmic travesties such as Batman & Robin, The Da Vinci Code, and Winter's Tale.

And then there's the fact that it was recently announced that the film itself isn't really an adaptation in the traditional sense - it's more of a hodgepodge of ideas and elements from King's series, thrown together in a Hollywood cement mixer.

Don't get your hopes up, folks.


Sam Hill is an ardent cinephile and has been writing about film professionally since 2008. He harbours a particular fondness for western and sci-fi movies.