6. Pay It Forward
Not even a movie that no one cares about could stop your friend, who, like a man possessed, immediately found himself driven to delve into an analysis of Western literature upon seeing Jay Mohr driving his car during the movies opening credits: Osments definitely gonna die. I know it. You pretended that something interesting happened on the screen in the hopes of diverting his attention. Because whenever youre being nice and want to change something, you die. This is a story we tell each other over and over again, he elaborated, being the first person ever to do so. Its one that comes from how we deal with leaders throughout our history, from Gandhi to Malcolm X to Jesus to Randy Quaid in Independence Day. And that mean kid with the knife at the beginning of Pay It Forward is obviously foreshadowing. He had read about that part on Wikipedia beforehand. Likely relishing in the sound of his own voice, your friend then emphasized his argument by looking at you insistently. Watch, Im right. This whole movie is Oscar bait. Theyre probably going to have a homeless guy, an alcoholic mom who constantly cries, a traumatized Kevin Spacey who constantly cries, Jon Bon Jovi in a working class wardrobe, and last but certainly not least, a black street-smart criminal sacrificing himself for delicate, rich white people who always appreciate help from lower classes the most. Even if the death of a selfless protagonist wasnt a requirement in our culture, an industrially overdramatic movie like this has to culminate in the most shocking death of all. Its its sole purpose. Osments a goner. Thanks for the CliffsNotes, you thought.