10 Movie Organisations That Really Needed A Better Union

3. The Death Star's Staff €“ Star Wars

Star Wars Force Choke It's a well known fact that the Death Star's employee turnover is staggering, mainly due to the intolerance of any sort of failure and Darth Vader's unorthodox disciplinary techniques. Fail to change the photocopying toner? You'll be choked. Get the communication arrays wrong? You'll be choked. Let a cadre of rebels slip through your fingers? You guessed it, choked. Rarely has a man presided over his workforce with such cruel and unusual punishments for workplace screw-ups like Vader, who bestrides the grey-suited Death Star drones like a colossus. Disregarding the Robot Chicken theory that Vader's 'chokes' are actually all acted out by compliant staff who want to keep him sweet, I've got to say this is no way to run business. If they want my advice, they should all leave and pit the union against their asthmatically-challenged boss. Vader'll be up on charges within the week. And really, there can be no better sight than seeing Darth Vader on the other side of the courtroom, explaining why he thinks windpipe-crushing is an appropriate punishment for workplace grievances. Hell, they've certainly got a case, so you can bet the settlements will be huge. But it's an Empire, you say? And Vader's boss is even less forgiving? Oh well, maybe we should forget about it, lest we all get shot up the arse with force lightning. Occasionally, perhaps a union isn't a good idea.
Contributor
Contributor

Durham University graduate and qualified sports journalist. Very good at sitting down and watching things. Can multi-task this with playing computer games. Football Manager addict who has taken Shrewsbury Town to the summit of the Premier League. You can follow me at @Ed_OwenUK, if you like ramblings about Newcastle United and A Place in the Sun. If you don't, I don't know what I can do for you.