10 Movies That Peaked Way Too Early

1. Nobody's Earned This

Saving Private Ryan€™s opening 27 minute sequence on the Omaha Beach assault may be the best and worst beginning to any film ever made. Best, because of course it is €“ have you seen it? It€™s a technical masterclass, and one of the greatest things ever committed to celluloid. A blistering cacophony of shock and awe, pummeling the viewer over and over with imagery and sounds, rendering us as stunned as the soldiers making their way up that beach must have felt. Worst€ because how do you follow that, exactly? And why? The remaining two hours and twenty minutes or so is almost an epilogue to that greatness, and not a convincing one. It€™s all downhill from there: Spielberg€™s usual manipulative direction is on full display here, as though he believes that the Important Film he€™s making renders his worst excesses invisible. It doesn€™t, far from it. Saving Private Ryan throws out all common sense in favour of trite jingoism and poetry. If the opening sequence on the beach is supposed to teach us about the uncaring, arbitrary nature of war, then the fact that the released German soldier returns to kill Tom Hanks€™ character Captain Miller isn€™t arbitrary: that€™s basic cinematic dramatic irony. If Ryan€™s refusal to obey the direct order of a superior officer and leave his unit is perhaps understandable, Miller€™s instant capitulation and decision to disobey his orders and stay with Ryan is ridiculous €“ and the realisation that this narrative, the entirety of which forms a flashback, is from the point of view of Ryan himself, who wasn€™t even present for the majority of it, is an insult too far. The long takes dwelling on Old Glory are just the revolting cherry on the top of this collapsing soufflé of a film. Do you see what we did there? Soufflés don€™t even need cherries on the top.