On the surface, Indiana Jones is an ideal movie hero –
handsome, witty and intelligent but with an endearingly humanising fear of
snakes he’s the kind of imperfect hero we can all cheer on. But take a closer
look at the Indy films and you’ll find he’s nothing to look up to at all.
In Raiders of the Lost Ark, we learn that he had a
relationship with his mentor’s daughter Marion Ravenwood when she was around 16
years old and he was in his late twenties before abruptly leaving her. In
Kingdom of the Crystal Skull it’s revealed that following their reunion in
Raiders the pair gave their relationship another chance and planned to get
married until Indy jilted her a week prior to their wedding but not before
knocking her up with Shia LaBeouf.
Calling him a deadbeat dad might be a bit harsh considering
he didn’t find out he had a kid until Kingdom of the Crystal Skull but then
maybe don’t go around having unprotected sex if you don’t want to suddenly gain
a surprise son years later, eh Indy?
Although his lack of paternal skills shouldn’t be too
surprising really – in Temple of Doom he saw nothing wrong with hiring an
11-year-old Short Round as his sidekick and leading him straight into the hands
of a religious cult that enslaves children, after all.
Then there’s the problematic nature of his job which
basically involves travelling around the world and stealing precious artefacts
from indigenous cultures so they can be displayed in American museums. Indiana
Jones: looter, statutory rapist and deadbeat dad.
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