Turns out our Creator is actually a bunch of grey bald dudes with ripped bods; who knew? Ridley Scott, that's who - needlessly providing fans with the Alien prequel they never even asked for, Scott's Prometheus goes with the ancient astronauts theory posed by the likes of Erich von Däniken and runs with it for 124 gorgeous yet preposterous minutes. And, as the crew of the good ship Prometheus discover after travelling to the alien engineers' home planet, these ancient astronauts aren't so happy to see their creations just rocking up on home turf. Shortly after landing on LV-223, archaeologist Elizabeth Shaw (Noomi Rapace) and team discover that humanity was probably nothing but an experiment, more a product of biological warfare than a labour of love. Upon meeting the Prometheus crew, including the immortality-seeking billionaire Peter Weyland (Guy Pearce, wearing an old man's skin), the engineers become hostile, annihilating the crew members and suddenly deciding to wipe out humanity for some reason. But you're not gonna question these guys, they're huge.
Lover of film, writer of words, pretentious beyond belief. Thinks Scorsese and Kubrick are the kings of cinema, but PT Anderson and David Fincher are the dashing young princes. Follow Brogan on twitter if you can take shameless self-promotion: @BroganMorris1
