10 Reasons There Are Only 2 And A Half Good Alien Movies

by Ben Counter

1. No One Is As Cool As Vasquez

Vasquez alien
Fox

Name one person as cool as Vasquez from Aliens. Time’s up. Nothing? That’s because Private First Class Jeanette Vasquez, USCM, is the coolest character in existence. She gets the best lines, the coolest action, the swaggest headband, and the biggest gun in Aliens, and we love her for it. We root for her, back her up in her disdain of corporate douchebags, and mourn her when she dies.

Your inability to answer the cruelly impossible challenge in the preceding paragraph should inform you that no one in the Alien franchise since Aliens has been as awesome as Vasquez. Alien3 tried with Dillon, the toughest prisoner on the block who challenged the xenomorph to a bout of fisticuffs and cussed it out for being a pussy. Alien: Resurrection did its damnedest by casting Ron Perlman as a grumpy intergalactic badass. But none of them recreate the feat of Jeanette Goldstein stealing her scenes as the greatest bandana model in cinematic history.

Advertisement
Contributor

Ben Counter is a fantasy and science fiction writer, gaming enthusiast, wrestling fan and miniature painting guru. He was raised on Warhammer, Star Wars and 1980s cartoons that, in retrospect, were't that good. Whoever you are, he is nerdier than you.