The first horror film I ever saw was Friday the 13th Part III at my best friends house in fifth grade. After his mom dropped me off back home, I walked through our dark, creepy, tree-lined yard to the door. Suddenly a white blur flew at me. I screamed, and then hoped no one heard me as I realized it was our cat trying to get into the house. From then on, I was hooked on horror. Films like Halloween, Hellraiser, The Shining, The Exorcist and the Night of the Living Dead upended any sense of security we feel in our homes, schools, and communities; evil beings can appear at any time, anywhere, and the threat they pose may even be caused by our seemingly safe environment. They created visible manifestations of the sense of dread you feel in a dark basement, or even the anxieties that arise as you walk into the office on the first day of work. They help us face our fears, see them defeated, but realize they will always haunt us. Most importantly, though, they can be a lot of fun. As Halloween approached each year, I got ready to re-watch my favorite horror films, scanned TV for horror movie marathons, and looked for the latest releases. Over the years, though, something happened. The new films to come out just werent as satisfying as the old ones; either so heavy on gore its not pleasant to watch or simply not scary. Some of this was the seemingly endless franchises (Friday the 13th, Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street). But a lot of the original horror films I saw just couldnt live up to the older stuff. Granted, some great films came out28 Days Later, Let the Right One In, Blair Witch Project evenbut these were few and far in between. Now, as the Halloween season is once again upon us, I prepare to clarify why I cant stand most of what counts as horror these days and defend myself against charges of snobbery or getting old. I struggle to explain how H.P. Lovecrafts storieswhich you
should read-- are creepier than most horror movies of the past few decades. So I thought I would prepare a manifesto for myself, and for anyone else who cant enjoy contemporary horror. Some of my points are about specific themes in contemporary horror, some about broader concerns. Some are humorous, and some are deadly serious. I guarantee, though, that all will earn you the disdain of anyone who has watched all of the Saw films. Just a warning, there are numerous spoilers in here. And I admit Im being kind of Americo-centric. Im sure there are some other disclaimers Ive forgotten.