Gus Van Sant's a funny guy. He is an accomplished director, and can compose shots in a manner that complements whoever's in them. (He notably made Keanu Reeves, acting perhaps in the stupidest makeup/outfit imaginable, just seem "eccentric" in "Even Cowgirls Get The Blues". Even Brannagh couldn't do that kind of magic for Reeves in his films....) But I guess sometimes he just feels the need to engage in what can only be described as "Movie Cosplay" and be Alfred Hitchcock. I need to stress that. This is less a remake of "Psycho" and more a reshoot. In colour. With different actors and actresses. Deviations are minor and rare. It could've only been more precious if he'd gotten vintage equipment and assured us he wanted to see if it turned out "just like it was back then". Of course this movie is hollow in its feel. It's shot well, but why are you watching it? Why was it made? Everyone was pretty constrained to a concept of what "Psycho" was. Remakes always can suffer from that. But this one? It suffers from being constrained to being the previous "Psycho" in ways that make other remakes look revolutionary. Notably, Julianne Moore TRIES to make her Lila Crane a more fleshed out, intense character - the result just seems to be alternate takes on Vera Miles' interpretation due to EVERYTHING else being the same. If this film was made as a dare, I'd get it. As it is, with the original a celebrated film that still garners praise and cinema viewings, it seems to miss ANY point of a remake. It offers nothing. Except.... ARGH: Unintentional hilarity, as Wes Mantooth is Norman Bates. Yes, Vince Vaughn is Norman Bates. Even though his physique is more "Swingers" and less "Wedding Crashers", due to the fact that Vaughn now seemingly only takes roles that involve him recounting the reason he got drunk in at least one scene and encouraging drunken hilarity in another....this movie's pretty hard to take seriously. Oh, and he kills Anne Heche. Write your own joke here. Even Camille Paglia couldn't resist. IRREPLACEABLE ELEMENT: Well, the film's well shot and it certainly isn't the script or the director that are slacking. So, by process of elimination, the cast. Congratulations, Anthony Perkins and crew - In a roundabout way, by soulessly and competently creating a new "Psycho" this film effectively promotes your contributions as more key to this film than previously thought.
In a parallel universe where game shows' final jackpots and consequent fortunes depend on knowledge of obscure music trivia and Jon Pertwee/Tom Baker Doctor Who episodes, I've probably gone rich, insane, and am now a powermad despot. But happily we're not there, so I'm actually rather pleasant. Really.
