10 Ridiculous Movie Premises Everybody Fell For

3. Jack And Rose Are A Sweeping Love Story For The Ages - Titanic (1997)

Titanic Jack Rose
Fox

Are they? Are they? Are they really? But are they? Let'€™s look at the facts, here.

Rose was seventeen years old, engaged to a man she didn'€™t like and suicidal because of it. Jack was a twenty-year-old drifter, an artist who€™d wound up in England after bumming around the world for years: he won his ticket in a card game five minutes before the ship sailed, thereby shoring up his opinion that the world owed him a living. The two have clearly embarked upon the dictionary definition of a holiday romance, as he fast-talks her out of jumping off the ship, sneaks into first class with her, draws her like one of his French girls and then€ well, more things that are probably just like what happened with those French girls.

Seriously, what are the odds that this mismatched couple would have made it work if they€™d both survived? You know what this is? This is Speed, where Sandy B and Canoe only get together because of the intense experience that they experience intensely together, and by the time Speed 2 rolls around, she€™'s with Jason Patric, dismissing Canoe in the second scene by repeating the first film'€™s jokey line about relationships based on extreme circumstances never working out.

titanic movie
20th Century Fox

Rose is Sandy B in Speed, and Jack is Canoe. The reason she'€™s still stuck on him so many decades later is nothing to do with love. It'€™s far more likely that the appalling disaster and Jack€™'s loss as he literally slips through her fingers have traumatised an already emotionally unstable young woman, causing her to imprint a romantic fantasy upon him that no real, live human man could have lived up to€ especially an irresponsible waster like Jack. That€™'s not a love story for the ages, that€™'s twelve months of expensive therapy that she didn'€™t get.

Contributor
Contributor

Professional writer, punk werewolf and nesting place for starfish. Obsessed with squid, spirals and story. I publish short weird fiction online at desincarne.com, and tweet nonsense under the name Jack The Bodiless. You can follow me all you like, just don't touch my stuff.