10 Ridiculous Reasons Why Oscar Voters Picked Their Winners
9. Best Actress Goes To Emmanuelle Riva As She May Not Live Through The Night
Staying with our 2013 Oscar voter from the directors branch, we arrive at the Best Actress Award. Discounting Beasts Of The Southern Wild's Quvenzhane Wallis because the voter can't pronounce her name ("I...dont vote for anyone whose name I cant pronounce. Quvez-? Quzen-? Quyzenay?") and dismissing Zero Dark Thirty's Jessica Chastain because she's so likely to be nominated again, the voter looks to Amour's Emmanuelle Riva. Though this voter hated the film ("there's only so much diaper-changing I can tolerate"), Amour's leading lady got the vote not just because they thought the then-85-year-old actress was "extraordinary" in it, but because, Jessica Chastain "probably has another 10 Oscar nominations in her future... Meanwhile, Emmanuelle Riva may not even live through Oscar night". For anyone uncertain of how things ultimately went down, it can be confirmed that Riva survived the 2014 Oscars.
Lover of film, writer of words, pretentious beyond belief. Thinks Scorsese and Kubrick are the kings of cinema, but PT Anderson and David Fincher are the dashing young princes. Follow Brogan on twitter if you can take shameless self-promotion: @BroganMorris1
