9. Chev Chelios Is Invincible - Crank
Crank is a roller coaster ride of schlocky action carnage which revels in how silly it is while offering everything fans of the genre everything they could want. The film focuses on Chev Chelios, a hitman who has been injected with a drug which will lower his adrenaline levels until his heart stops and he dies. This is a problem as he is quite against the idea of ending up - as Statham himself would say - like 'brown bread' and decides to at least get some revenge against the man responsible. What follows is like some sort of mescaline fever dream with all the violence and public sex acts you could ask for. This would be a perfect time to get pedantic and point out all of the times during this he cheated death, but as this film is so silly, I've reserved my judgement for the very end of the film. Crank ends with Chelios falling from a helicopter while talking to his girlfriend on the phone. Standard stuff really, ending as he hits the ground from thousands of feet in the air which would turn most human beings into paste. Cue Crank 2: High Voltage where he has inexplicably survived the events of the first film. I'm all for tough guy action where the character can beat countless people senseless while hardly getting a scratch on them but a fall from 3,000 feet in the air on to a car? I call shenanigans. I'm not even going to go into him surviving full body burns at the end of the sequel, that's just too much.