10 Secret Worst Movie Heroes

9. Should Have Called It Spoon Walker

Neo-noir classic Blade Runner is set in a near future where near-human genetically engineered androids €“ replicants €“ are still being used off world, but are illegal on Earth. When a replicant mutinies, specialist police €“ blade runners €“ are engaged to track them down and €˜retire€™ them. Rick Deckard is the blade runner sent to track down the latest batch of rebellious replicants, led by combat model Roy Batty. It€™s implied that Deckard is out of the game, and that the police have had to strong-arm him into taking this case because he€™s the best, the elite: the last guy was shot. The scene is set, then: blade runners are elite investigators-cum-executioners, not run-of-the-mill police, and Deckard is the best, drafted in because no one else could cut it. Except that€™s not what we see throughout the narrative of the film€ Deckard doesn€™t use any specialist skill to locate and dispatch the four errant replicants, and there€™s nothing he does that a normal police officer or private detective wouldn€™t have done. He doesn€™t wheel out the Voight-Kampff test to locate any of the fugitive replicants; he just ransacks a hotel room and finds a clue. Moreover, he€™s so incompetent at the investigation part of the job that two of his targets end up targeting him. He€™s so useless at the execution part of the job that all four of them get the drop on him, three nearly kill him, and he only survives at all because Roy Batty is a bit of a philosophical sort. Blade runner? More like a butter knife.
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Contributor

Professional writer, punk werewolf and nesting place for starfish. Obsessed with squid, spirals and story. I publish short weird fiction online at desincarne.com, and tweet nonsense under the name Jack The Bodiless. You can follow me all you like, just don't touch my stuff.